Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Things I put on the internet apparently do spread like wild fire.
I've already been asked about it by someone who doesn't even read this.
At least it's not a personal secret anymore.
But I'll leave the discussion offline, vowing never to let history repeat itself again.
On a side note, I'm taking part in the Brilliant Scholars Challenge.
As of now I've solved every released problem so I'm in a 6-way tie at the top and I'm just waiting for more.
Currently enjoying my place at the top position and hoping to take part in the Live Challenge on Google Hangouts in mid-September.
The scholarships are too enticing, up to $2500 and the winner gets a scholarship for a single course at Stanford OHS :D
It's just too bad they only have the Math Challenge this year.
But they promise to release Science, Technology and Engineering Challenges within the next few years and of course I'm so looking forward to what challenges they can come up with for Technology so YAY :)
Scholarship prizes have an age limit of 22 though so I only have a few chances left.
Either way it's going to be a great past time and procrastination excuse for the next month.
Hope I don't screw it up like Code Jam again... :X
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@ganweiliang
Monday, August 20, 2012
Reach Cambridge has ended.
Would've gladly blogged on the last day if there was wi-fi and Heathrow Airport, but no luck.
As always, it's bitter sweet.
It's pretty sad that I didn't get to make a lot of close friends there.
Everyone in my course stayed together in a different college and the HC people in the other courses were simply too close together within their cliques.
I did try to get to know some people in the huge "Chemistry Clique", popping into their mugging and slacking sessions every now and then.
Never really made any real friends but I got to know most of them, doubt that any of them will remember me though since they were really close.
At least they became really close friends so that's nice.
Ignoring Facebook friends, I probably gained around 3 friends whom I could consider to be "close", relatively anyway.
Aside from the massive workload burden, it's nice to be back for several reasons.
And an awesome class outing reminded me of the friends I still have (for now).
On a side note my grades are turning pathetic.
I can only look forward to 3 A's and I don't want to imagine the state of the other two grades.
The fact that there are few who want to mug with me doesn't make it any better.
If people despise me for doing very well in some subjects I'd rather not do as well than lose all my motivation to study.
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@ganweiliang
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I'm 100% convinced that I should break those friendship ties considering how I now want to punch both of them in the face.
Whatever, I don't need them in my life.
On a side note, I sense that something very bad is about to happen, to me.
I sense that I'm going to have to go through the torture that happened for the past 1 year, with another person.
I'm trying terribly hard to reject the feelings due to absolute fear from the past experience.
I don't want to go through the process alone again.
I don't want my friends to leave me again due to me being distracted and yet not telling anyone about it.
I don't want to feel disappointed and guilty at the end of it all.
I'd rather stop it and prevent anything from happening before I do something stupid again.
Not to mention that I haven't FULLY recovered from that yet, and I'll probably never but that's not the point.
I feel stupid and terrible for what I've done and I simply don't want history to repeat itself again.
Why must this happen to me for every trip?
Let's not talk about who it is for now.
I'll just adopt a don't ask, don't tell policy.
I doubt anyone will ask, but if they do I may consider.
I really can't imagine doing this all over again...
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@ganweiliang
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Two more friends lost, and I feel perfectly happy never to associate with them again.
I should probably keep track of this scary statistic and remind myself of how small my world is getting.
Acceptance is something that only a very small minority of this world will ever fully comprehend.
And until I manage to find this small minority my social circle will always be lconfined to this minute measurable radius.
As others already have the daunting task of finding that right person, I have the additional burden of finding the right group of people that will stay by my side.
As usual, I shan't blame the world because everyone is really just born this way and since I can't change the world, I will change to fit the world.
It's an interesting life, everyone should try it some day.
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@ganweiliang
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Weekend trips to Oxford and Stratford have confirmed that I'm really not the shopping type.
The familiar scenes of us hoboing outside a shop with Wifi appear again.
The fact that we bought a HUGE spherical fluffy pig made us the centre of attraction as we were using our phones in the middle of the street, whatever.
Well for now there's nothing much to talk about, and I DON'T want to whine about going back to school so yeah.
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@ganweiliang
Thursday, August 9, 2012
For some reason I put myself through some torture last night.
I was going through my usual Youtube routine.
Then I ended up diverting to watching bullying and coming out videos.
Then I got emotional and cried myself to sleep.
Quite fortunately my roommate seemed to be fast asleep.
Sigh I remember the days of being bullied, verbally and physically, including by girls.
(yes I was kicked and punched by girls, don't judge)
I tried my best to ignore and resist the temptation to punch them back in the face.
I've survived 10.5 years of school so just 1.5 years to go.
Another 2 years and I'm gone for good.
On a side note I got pretty distracted yesterday by new Facebook photos on my News Feed.
I don't even need to elaborate.
Luckily it's now a very rare occurrence but every time it happens I feel so guilty.
I feel pissed at myself for not being able to control my emotions and I would gladly punch myself in the face to give myself a wake up call.
Either that or someone please come slap me as you wish.
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@ganweiliang
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Well there's really nothing much to talk about.
It's a study trip so it's just lessons after lessons.
A lot of shit happened I guess and I'm just in the worst mood right now because I'm bloody tired and I got screwed for staying up late.
Plus I have a lot of work an stuff to settle in school which I haven't touched on since I've barely had a good night's sleep yet.
That being said my class has 11 people but almost none of them stay any where near, not even in the same college so it's a little to be very good friends.
The good thing is that at least the new lecturer realises how fast the class is and starts talking about other stuff.
Whatever, I'm not going to last through lecture tomorrow and I really just want to sleep now because my eyelids aren't staying open.
Ok time to sleep, talk more another time.
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@ganweiliang
Monday, August 6, 2012
Day 1 here and I still feel sleepy due to jetlag.
Today was half-interesting I guess.
The lesson was REALLY slow and pathetic, teaching sec 2 stuff at an extremely slow pace.
I hope it's only for today because I really want to learn something new.
Cambridge is generally a very peaceful and picturesque place I must say, especially with a good mix of modern and traditional architecture.
The food is really good, especially the dormitory food from dormitory standards.
The dorm rooms are quite nice, and the bed is really comfortable.
There's wi-fi all over the school which is great, only complain is that there is no wi-fi in the dorm rooms and the LAN internet's speed is horribly low and unreliable.
There's generally no wi-fi around Cambridge Town too so outside of school hours I've got no internet either unless I hang around school.
Most of the sports facilities are pretty far away from lodging so it's not very convenient.
However, there is a mini pool table complete with mini cues and balls within 50m which is great. The stuff are quite small compared to the actual equipment but it's still nonetheless pool.
I'll most likely spend some time there every day to let off some stress.
The time difference is quite irritating though because generally when we're online barely anyone in SG is online which sucks.
US was actually ok when I was free early in the morning people in SG were free to talk since it was night time.
I have too much alone time at night which I don't really like but too bad.
Oh well I'm struggling to keep my eyelids open already so good night.
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@ganweiliang
Sunday, August 5, 2012
For some reason I'm starting to feel even more lonely now that I'm here.
I think almost no one I know cares about the fact that I'm here.
Before take-off and after landing, everyone is busy replying to well wishes while I watch and wait pointlessly for ALMOST NOTHING.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous.
But whatever, I can live on my own if people don't want to be friends with me just because of this.
What's worse? People here already come in cliques and I don't happen to be in any of them.
I just wander around the groups trying to make friends with everyone.
I doubt it's helping since I still wind up being alone.
The main reason why I have so much time to myself to blog as well.
Hopefully I can meet some new friends or this trip is going to feel even worse than school.
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@ganweiliang
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Flying off in 1.5 hours, final blog post before I take off.
Already enjoying the company of friends and without the family.
My group of friends is SO AA which makes them such a fun bunch to hang out with.
Miss my classmates but I'll make new friends, with a similar interest in math too so that's great :)
I'm just rambling already cos I've got nothing left to do while waiting.
Just need to ensure I get this post out before departure :P
WHEE let's plot my journey all the way to boarding cos I'm just that lame.
Going in for security check, argh my laptop shall be surrendered...
Yay the airplane looks big haha, A380 = in-seat plug = unlimited computer usage :D
Okay I shall stop being anti-social and and mix around, see you in Cambridge :)
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@ganweiliang
Friday, August 3, 2012
My family relations have a taken a turn for the worse.
Ever since my younger sister became an wushu gold medalist, I have officially become nothing to my family.
She's allowed to mock me in public while I'm only allowed to shut up.
I doubt my parents even care about me anymore.
Having to put on an act while I'm around my family simply adds insult to injury.
Being extremely self-conscious so as not to let my guard down isn't easy.
It's not like staying home is that good to begin with, and I still have to constantly worry about saying or doing something wrong.
Whatever, the only thing that matters now is the fact that I'm flying off to Cambridge tomorrow morning.
Another nice little escapade from my family and my sister's annoying singing.
I'm actually generally okay with people singing and I do it too but my sister just doesn't know when to draw the line which makes it rather irritating.
Hopefully I can get some peace and time to myself there to sit down and think through my life and sort out this whole mess in my brain.
All I know is that in a few years time I'm leaving this hell of a place and never coming back.
One more thing, the whole ChickFilA incident is also completely ruining my mood.
The fact that they have half the world supporting them just goes to show how far we queers still are from being accepted.
I even recently found a twitter account created for the sole purpose of retweeting homophobic tweets from all over the world.
Guess I've got no where to run and my whole life is just a game of hide and seek.
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@ganweiliang
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
How can I resist talking about the Olympics when I'm visiting the area in a week's time? Barely a week has past since the Games started but I must say it has been an interesting one, with some of the best and worst scenes ever witnessed during the Olympics.
Singaporeans have of course gone wild with a bronze medal in the bag thanks to the sensational play by Feng Tianwei, and we are all hoping for Team Singapore to bring back a record of 2 Olympic medals this year by defending their title in the Women's Table Tennis team event.
Having said that, there's still the other end of the spectrum involving the badminton scandal. The desire to win has clouded the rational minds of some of the Top players resulting in severe cases of foul play. Whatever happened to the notion of sportsmanship? This has inevitably caused an uproar among communities everywhere and you'd think that they would've thought twice (or more) before disappointing the entire world. I personally think it's a disgrace to themselves, dishonour to their countries and disrespect towards the sport and the competition.
With another week and a half to go, who knows what other discussion-worthy stories will surface. But for me, the Olympics only serves two main purposes. One is as an excellent excuse for procrastination. Two is as a daily guilty pleasure. Who can get enough of the perfectly-built bodies of the athletes? Not to mention that the male divers all wear nothing but speedos (which effectively amounts to nothing) and have some of the best bodies. The occasional "speedo-slip off" while underwater generates chaos over tumblr as gifs and images flood their entire database. It's not like tumblr isn't already filled with images of hot swimmers and divers in speedos and trunks, but you know, the more the merrier :)
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@ganweiliang
